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The Shirehorses

The Shirehorses are Mark & Lard's great Rock N' Roll band. Although they may not be well known they have been hugely influential in the music scene. Everyone from David Bowie to Oasis to Placebo has 'borrowed' songs off them. They have released one album and their second album titled 'Our Kid Eh' was released on the 14th April 2001.

Shirehorse's Album
Shirehorses Photo Album (Inside Cover Photos)
Shirehorses photos (From a Live concert)

Shameless Commercial Link

You can buy The Shirehorses - The Worst Album in the World... Ever... Ever! and their new album Our Kid Eh from Amazon. Plus in ten years I may even get a few pounds out of them!


Click to see the Full Size Picture of the ShirehorsesThe Original Line Up

Pat 'Evil Pixie Mastermind' Gallagher has appeared on stage with the Shirehorses on the Blur dates & on all the Mighty Horse gigs, miming the sax. On Mark's birthday and the Radio 1 Cardiff bash Chunky was replaced by Sickly Rob.



The Shirehorses Live Experience

On 27th June 1997 The Shirehorses played Glastonbury. They had tried to keep it a bit of a secret but it got out into the papers several weeks before the event that they would be playing some of their piss take tunes at the 1997 Glastonbury festival.

The Glastonbury Set List

Mathew Wood reports from Glastonbury:

StratPicture the scene - it's 10.30am on a Friday morning. The rain is lashing down, and all the campers are knee deep in mud. Some of the hardy ones brave the elements, and make a brief pilgrimage to the second stage. For a while the rain stops, and an ery quietness overcomes the vale of Avalon that is Glastonbury. All quiet, that is, until the 'Flight of the Valkyres' starts up, and two men, dressed in red fleaces, shorts, and Manchester City shirts fly onto the stage.

"Rock and Roll!!" they cry, as Picknose the Producer and Paddy (evil pixy mastermind) also arrive and pick up their instruments. They leap into a blistering epic of 'The Seahorses' 'Love is the Law', followed by other classics such as 'Pants On - Plums Drop', and 'Gazebo - Lardy Boy', as well as a few new ones, such as 'Oasis - Roll With It' ("I want a roll with it, I want a chicken pie").

Is it any coincidence that after they had been on the stage it sank into the mud?

Thanks to Mathew Wood for sending this account in.


In September 1997 the Shirehorses did a tour of the following Universities.

Shirehorses We Came, We Saw, We Cantered Tour

All the shows were compared by Peter Kay who is the winner of the Edinburgh "So You think you're funny Award" except for Thursdays show which was compared by Mark Lamarr. Their road manager was Ian Gatts.

The support acts are in brackets.

Shirehorses On Tour with Blur

Shirehorses Last Ever Gig

The Mighty Horse's Last Ever Gigs

Freshers Week 2000 Tour

2001 Dates


The Album

The Shirehorses Album "The Worst Album In The world ever" came out on November 3rd 1997 for under a tenner. It contains 17 of The Shirehorses best tracks. It is out on Warner Music. It got to number 22 in the album charts on it's week of release.

Tracklisting

  1. THE SHIREHORSES - (now) i know (where i'm going) our kid
  2. PEELA TATER - ta la
  3. BABY BLOKE - you're gormless
  4. THE CHARLEY TWINS - west country boy
  5. DICK CAVE AND THE BAD CHEESE feat. RILEY MINOGUE - hapless boy lard
  6. DOOFERGRASS - feel like shite
  7. GAZEBO - lardy boy
  8. EDWYN BOBBINS - girl like you (hiya)
  9. FLUSH - single bloke
  10. MORONICO - sha la la la, tum tee tum (untitled)
  11. CHEEPER - ugly bleeder
  12. DICK CAVE AND THE BAD CHEESE feat. ALAN BAWL (NO RELATION) - the ballad of franny lee
  13. THE RA-GROMES - sheena easton (punk rocker) / joe's f**** off
  14. ALLADIN-ANE - bill oddity
  15. FRANK SPENSER BLUES EXPLOSION - frank spencer blues explosion
  16. PO-FASIS - cum on skweeze me boilz
  17. BABY BLOKE - you're a bastard

Inside Cover Notes

AT THIS POINT WE SHOULD THANK...... all the respective Artists,
Managements and Pluggers for their much needed help in getting
this project up and running, and without whose permission none
of this rubbish would be available to you the general public...
BUT
WE'RE NOT GOING TO BECAUSE WE REALLY DID ALL THIS ON OUR
OWN - WITH NO HELP FROM NO-ONE..... SO BOLLOCKS TO
EVERYONE.......
EXCEPT ME AND HIM.


We do however (begrudgingly) accept the fact that Uncle Tony
Worthington Nick Bell, Chris Lee, Paul Cargill and a few other
BBC dullards in brown cardigans DID help us (a bit) in recording
these classic songs, therefore, respect is due
(though payment is
not). Oh and John Leonard was alright....perhaps Lis? Michelle?
Pat? - I dunno! But that's it....no-one else....oh except Jeanne
Straight from East West (head of parcel despatch and close
personal friend of Jimmy Nail - respect is due MC Nail-O) and Ian
Grenfell. Oh....and
Ian Ramage. But absolutely NO-ONE
ELSE...except maybe our accountant
Charles Levine and our
Lawyer
Neil Myerson, to whom respect is NOT due - but payment
unfortunately is. But that's the lot, apart from
Bella, Trace, Kate,
Beth and Holly. Oh....and God...but THAT'S IT now.... NO
MORE....enough's enough! Oh, and what about thingmy...Roger
Bannister! Radio 1's jobbing Mr. Fixit...... Oh...and musn't forget
Pete Frame. Oh....and whatsit, A1 Music M/C. Oh - and thanks to
each other for being great -
respect is long overdue.


TV, Radio & Magazine Appearances

  1. The Shirehorses appeared in The September 1997 issue of Sky on page 18 in a mini interview.
  2. Live & Kicking - Saturday 1st November 1997
  3. They played Tala on the Sunday Show in 1997
  4. The Sunday Times Culture supplement - 16th November 1997
  5. They did a live set for the Simon Mayo programme at Ocean Software - 18th December 1997


Reviews

Maxim (December 97) - The Shirehorses The Worst Album in the World. . . Ever (EastWest)
F***in' hell, save us from Mark Radcliffe and Lard murdering a bunch of pop classics you're proabably thinking (for 'tis they). But this cross between Jilted John and Chubby Brown featuring Radders and Lard's alter egos from Baby Bloke ("You're Gormless") to Po-Fasis ("Cum on Skweez me Boils") will soon have you reaching for a dry pair of undies. Among the laughs are classics from Doofergrass ("Feel Like Shite": "We are old, we're clapped out, we're infirm, muck about, smell of wee, support tights, feel like shite. . .") and Peela Tater ("Ta La": "Lamb jalfrezi and 15 pints of lager, sends a message to your arse"). Not one to grace your stereo indefinitely, but great fun while it lasts.
Rating:*** (out of 5) written by Adam Sutherland

C4 Teletext - "The Worst Album In The World . . . Ever
Horsing around? The Shirehorses are in fact DJs Mark Radcliffe and Lard and here they attempt their own versions of poprlar tunes. Baby Bloke's "You're Gormless", Peela Tater's "Ta La", about the after effects of a curry! And The Charley Twins "West Country Boy". Shire Straits? The lyrics are funny but you can't really listen to them more than once as the musician ship is appalling. A good one-off joke."
Rating:***

Interviews

This interview appeared in the September 1997 edition of Sky magazine on page 18.

The Sky Magazine Interview

Marc "Lard" Riley, enigmatic front man of the Shirehorses ("singers of original songs"), is in a rush. Although it's only 9:15am and he's already finished his day job - some radio station show or other - there's loads more to fit in. "Screwing chicks. Drinking 'Jack.' Hammering on. Pulling off." It's been a rollercoaster few months for the Shires. They've recorded fantastic ("original," stresses Lard) songs like Plums Drop (rather like Hanson's MMMBopp) and Ugly Bleeder (not dissimilar to Sleeper's Inbetweener), rocked Glasto so much that the stage collapsed ("Did it happen to Radiohead? Did it f***!"), completed a tour of pubs in the Levenshulme area (they didn't play a note but Lard did win £3 on a Crystal Maze machine) and last week, recorded their Christmas single - another original tune called Chive Talking - in honour of their second favourite herb.

So who are they? Well apart from Lard, there's Picknose (bass), Chester's Prince of Darkness (guitar) and Mark "Scrawn" Radcliffe (drums). Their philosophy is as simple as the band themselves: "To 'Rock out' bigger, harder, longer and thicker than anyone else. And that includes Shed Seven." What about the rumour that the Shirehorses are just chancers doing cover versions? "Oh bollocks to you." And with that he's off.


The Shirehorses seem to split up and reform on a regular basis. They were both now in a new band called The Indeciperable Boys and played in The Mighty Horse (A Shirehorses Tribute band). Mark also plays in a more serious folk band called The Family Mahone.

If you know anything else about the Shirehorses then please email me.


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