You know, Fat Larry and meself went to Alton Towers on the weekend, y'know
that theme park. We had a great time. I went on the Corkscrew, you know , the
one that goes 'round and 'round. Well after I had screwed a few times..my
head..was spinning. It was only a quick ride. But very satisfying, mm baby.
Well, due to my large girth I had a bit of trouble getting out of the ride so
this fine, sexy, lady attendant came over and offered to help me out. Well...
after a quick tug she relieved my discomfort, and said she'd never seen someone
wedged in so tight.
After a while I thought I'd try out that new ride, you know, The Oblivion
thingy, that one with that big drop into that tunnel. I made my way over to it
and who should I meet but this young lady who designed that dark, tunnel bit.
She offered to take me for a ride, and I could not refuse. Well, my knees were
trembling as we climbed to the very peak of the ride. As we reached the climax
I was so excited I stood up, erect and as we went down I banged my head hard on
the front of her tunnel. Needless to say she went crazy. Mmm, yeah.
Well, after that I was a bit hungry so it was quite lucky that I met up with
Fat Larry who had been over at the Petting Zoo. And, oh, he's so sweet, he
bought me a candy floss. After all those rides I was a bit shaky so I asked him
to hold it for me whilst I bit down on his stick. Well, you can guess what
happened, yeah, I got this sticky stuff all over my face. He asked me if I
wanted a Kleenex, but I said no, I'll just lick it off and swallow it.
Now, it was getting late and you know that Swan Ride thing that you pass on
your way out? Well I decided to have a quick one before leaving. So I climbed
into this bird and, you know, it was SO huge it could fit two people in so I
asked Fat Harry if he wanted to jump in with me. Well, he doesn't need to be
told twice if you know what I mean. He was in there quick as a flash. The bird
bobbed up and down for a while until we were fully satisified and decided to
Just as we left there was this nice young man by the gates handing out these
re-entry passes. He asked us if we'd like to come again, but we declined saying
that we had enough excitement for one day.
And that's the story of the fun day out that me and Fat Larry had on our day
out at Alton Towers.
Fat Harry White's Passion Waggon 2
Hello my little buckets of lurrve. Fat Harry White here, the love muscle of
radio. You know, on Saturday I took a trip to Southampton for the Navy Days,
you know where you get to see big ships and that. It was hot, sweaty and salty,
what can I say? I was so excited and within 5 minutes I was surrounded in sea
men. Mmm, yeeah. I wandered about and met this Wren, one of those young, Navy
lasses, she was busy polishing the captain's porthole when I caught up with
her. I asked her if she wanted any help with the inside but she said, "No,
it's OK, my hands are smaller and I can get right inside the rim without too
much discomfort." Well, I guess I have got big hands. So I walked on and
went inside this submarine. I met this great bloke, he was a young fella, and I
asked him what the best thing about being on a submarine was and he told me
that he enjoyed going down. This made me feel quite dizzy I can tell you. Well,
actually I was feeling a bit claustrophobic so he told me that I had to put my
head between my legs to alleviate the funny feeling. He pushed my head right
down and waited for me to blow. After much panting I was fine but as I came up
all the blood rushed to my head.
So he took me on a tour of his submarine and we ended up in the torpedo
room. He asked me if I wanted to rub his weapon which worried me a bit, I mean
it might go off in me hand so I quickly told him that I had a better offer from
a sexy,young ladyfriend who had invited me to come in her cabin. Mmm, baby! I
tell you I shot out of his weapon's bay and my feet did not touch the ground. I
felt a bit guilty that I'd run out so I popped my head back through his door
and said that I'd give him a ring, but he said that's OK and that he had a lot
of good friends on the sub. Before I left I asked him what he did when there
was nothing to do. I mean it's not like you can pop out on deck for a walk when
you're 300 feet underwater, is it? Well, he told me that he spends most of his
spare time banging his tool inside the engine room to relieve his tension.
After leaving the submarine I had a quick ride on an aircraft carrier but
slipped up on the poop deck at the feet of this pilot. He asked me if I wanted
to see his chopper, but as I was in a bit of a rush I had to decline. He was
quite eager and promised to sweep me off my feet and take me to heaven and
back. Well, I gave in and jumped into his aft cabin. It was quite a squeeze,
what with my girth an' all. And that's when disaster struck. My enormous weight
caused his nuts to pop out. He was not a happy man, I can tell you. He chucked
me off straight away and after that I was looking a bit battered and bruised so
I thought I'd better go home.
And that's the story of the fun day out that I had on my day out at Navy
Days in Southampton.
Fat Harry White's Passion Waggon 3
Hello, my little pomme frites of luurve, Fat Harry White coming at ya from
the early afternoon wireless.
HEY! You know that Commonwealth Game stuff what's been on recently, on the
telly. You know, down in Koala Lumpasisishire??? Didn't we do well? We came
second overall behind those people from Australiasishire. Makes a pleasant
I bet you didn't know that me and my friend, Fat Larry, used to be quite
the sportsmen. Yeah. We used to go to the local gym every fortnight. The gym
was owned by a good pal of mine called Slim Jim. Fat Larry and I used to do a
bit of boxing. Well not the proper stuff, just slapping those balls about. You
know, those dangly ones. Oh I remember the hours we used to spend together.
Larry used to hold his ball and I'd slap away for a while until my hands were
bruised and then we used to change ends and he'd have a quick go. Oh, yeah,
those were fun times.
Anyway, one time young Jim asked me if I wanted to have a little one-on-one
with him. You know give him a good fisting. Well! It was an offer I - could -
not - refuse. Fat Larry helped strip me off and slapped a gum shield in me
mouth (to prevent any accidents) and to make things go a bit more smoothly Jim
suggested we both get oiled up, you know, a bit of lubrication to prevent any
friction burns when we go down. Hehe, now, silly me, I'd forgotten to warm up
beforehand so I was a bit stiff. Jim confessed that he was feeling a bit tight
in the ring but after a few jabs and a little hand action we were both warmed
up and ready for some one on one action. Mmmm, baby!
As soon as the bell went I couldn't control myself and shot out straight
away. Jim didn't waste anytime either. As soon as he saw me coming he stepped
out of the way and I fell over and banged me head hard on his ring. Ow, I can
tell you it was not a pleasant experience. As I was gathering myself together
old slim Jim had positioned himself behind me. He gave me a few hard jabs and I
went down again. As it was my first time Jim decided to call for a quick break
so I gingerly returned to my corner. My head was spinning and I was walking a
bit funny, well, I've never been punched in the ring before.
Fat Larry sat me down and took my gum shield out. "Come on
'Arry," he said, "Pull yourself together. Here, suck on this it'll
make you feel better." Larry, bless his heart, gave me a few mouthfuls of
liquid, but as I was breathing so heavily it was dribbling back out of my
mouth. Ugh, hehe, it was a bit of a mess. Then I gagged a bit, I guess I
couldn't keep it all in, and do you know what happened next? Hehe, I spat it
out all over Fat Larry's face!!! Haha, he was not best pleased I can tell you.
Well, the bell went again and this sexy, young ladyfriend of mine walked
around the ring holding up one of those cards saying 'Round 2'. Round 2? I was
worn out after the first round. I wasn't ready for another go already. I tried
to get to my feet but before I could stand fully erect Jim ran over and started
whacking. I felt like a piece of meat in his hands. He would thump me here and
there until I was black and blue! I was starting to swell up and my head was
practically gorged with blood. It was at that point that I went down and passed
out through sheer exhaustion.
A few weeks later when I woke up from my coma Jim was sitting by my bed
puffing on a cigarette. "How was it for you?" he asked. I explained
that I'd never ached so much in - my - life. But it was a great experience and
that we should do it again sometime. Jim said that'd be fun and he'd love to
show me a few new moves he learnt from this Hungarian boxer but first I'd have
to recuperate and wait for the swelling to go down.
After being collected from hospital by my sexy wife, Fat Harrie,t and me
best mate Fat Larry, Fat Harriet told me of this great new place that she and
Fat Larry had been going to while I was off playing doctors and nurses and
having small pricks shoved up me backside. You know, injections and stuff.
Anyway, Fat Larry had been trying out weight lifting and had entered himself
for a local competition which wastaking place that afternoon. My lovely lady
wife had also been going along and getting involved. She asked if I wanted to
come along and have a look at Larry jerking at the competition? This did arouse
my interest but I was not completely swayed until Fat Harriet told me that she
was in the ladies competition and that if I was a good boy she'd give me a
quick look at her snatch. Mmmmm, BABY!!!
So off we went to the weight lifting competition. The whole event was based
in a marquee next to the town sports hall. You know, one of those big, posh
tent things. Fat Harriet jumped out of the car and pulled back the tent flaps
as I eased myself in. Well, I was pretty stiff after the incident in Jim's
ring. I got inside easy enough but Fat Larry couldn't follow me in and said
that he'd pop around the back door and get in that way.
As I took my seat it was announced that there had been a couple of boobs in
the women's competition so it was being postponed indefinitely, so Fat Harriet
wasn't best pleased and she came and sat down next to me. I tried to console
her and promised I'd give her something special when we got home to cheer her
up. That seemed to do the trick.
The lights dimmed and Fat Larry stepped out onto the raised platform. He
was decked from top to bottom in lycra. Mmm, baby. Hard to describe really. A
bit like one of those hot air balloons with a little basket at the bottom. It
was clear that Larry had been jerking hard recently because his arm muscles
were - e-normous, oh yeahhhh. I think his eyesight was going and his palms
seemed hairier than normal, but that's by the by. He approached the massive
weights and got a firm grip on the stiff rod. He was wearing those special
gloves which prevented his hands from slipping along the length. He was to have
three attempts at the jerk. Fat Harriet said he was the best jerker she'd ever
seen and that his technique was well known amongst the ladyfolk of the town. I
must admit I was a bit jealous. I'd helped Fat Larry jerk in the past and must
admit I was impressed at how long he could keep it up. The competition got
underway and at Larry's first attempt he was a bit too excited and it was up
and down before the referee even noticed. Well, you know, Larry always was a
little premature. He's got no self control you know. His second attempt was
fine, but the third attempt was a little more difficult. It took him ages to
get it up. Sweat was dripping off his face as he tried to pull it off. It was
the biggest jerk I've ever seen, I thought he was going to go through the roof.
And there was such a look of relief and exhaustion on Larry's face when it was
all over. He just stood there looking all limp and flaccid.
At the end of the competition the results were added up and we found out
that Larry had come first. Well, I could have told them that. He used to come
first in everything we did. He mounted the rostrum and the judges presented him
with a large medal which he put around his neck and left it there hanging for
all to see. I'd never seen him standing as proud as that, his medal proudly
dangling for all to see. As the national anthem played we all stood up erect,
although it was a bit of an effort for me after my boxing incident but my good
lady wife gave me a quick muscle rub and it wasn't long before I was up as
Well, what an interesting few days.... and that was a little story of me
and Fat Larry and my good lady wife and the fun the three of us got up to
whilst doing various sports. What a great threesome. Sort of anecdotal really.
Fat Harry White's Passion Waggon 4
"Hmmmmmmm Baby, just gotta tell ya about something wot happened to me
the other morning.......
As I slowly came to after a good nights' sleep I opened my eyes to a
wonderful sight; it was my girlfriends beautiful pussy. My nose began to tickle
as I rubbed up against it. Well! I just couldn't resist reaching out and
stroking her soft gentle pussy, when all of a sudden it dug it's sharp claws
into my finger!
Well, kittens at that age don't always realize what they're doing do they?
Still, tell you what....that's nowt compared to the other night when my
girlfriends big ass sat on my face! What a shock that was, well how would you
like a big fat hairy ass sitting suddenly on your face whilst lying on the
living room floor watching Coronation Street. Anyhow, I've since put my foot
down and told her, in no uncertain terms not to let that bleeding donkey in the