Mark Radcliffe & Lard's Top Of The Pops Appearence
T o p O f T h eP o p s

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On the 4th April 1997 two Manchester lads made their debut on Top Of the Pops. Before reaching this accolade one of them had had a previous and long Rock N' Roll career the other had also been in previous bands but this was the combination that we had all been waiting for. They borrowed suits especially for the day and used a changing room that had previously been used by Take That. These two however weren't here to play, they were here to present the show.

[Cast Play Free Me, John Power is wearing a ridiculous Dear Hunter hat]

Mark & Lard introduce TOTP

Mark: Greetings space cadets and welcome to Can't Cook, Won't Cook and tonights celebrity chefs include.

Lard: The Charlatans, some banging dance clobber and that lot (points to Cast) some people call them 'Carst',

M: But they're wrong, it's Cast, meanwhile over here Michael Jackson's Nephews named after a Sci-fi film.

L: 3T, the extra-terrestrials

Lard introduces a song

[3T - Gotta Be You, awful tune, crap haircuts]

M: 3T, Two coffee, nice slice of fruitcake, into the top four at number 3.

L: Right and next up from right across the pond, that's the Isle Of Man, No Doubt, Don't Speak.

[No Doubt - Don't Speak]

L: And now for my favourite band in the world ever.. entrance (pronounced entrance)

M: Entrance, with the new craze that's sweeping the nation - Disco Music.

L: What's that then?

M: It's what you hear at the funfair, if you want to go faster just scream.

[Entrance - D.I.S.C.O.]

Lard rests his head on mark's shoulder

M: Entance and D.I.S.C.O. which is short for Disco-thee-teh-que.

L: I agree with you Mark (putting his head on Mark's shoulder)

M: Now this next lot have come a long way since they went everywhere in a clapped out Bedford Rascal van.

L: They've got two now.

M: From Rock City Northwich.

L: The Charlatans

The Charlatons on TOTP

[The Charlatans - North Country Boy]

M: Top 2 from the Charlatans 'North Country Boy', come on Lard you do one.

L: Right next up is DJ Quicksilver and, cards on the table, I've never heard of him.

M: Oh yeah you have, DJ Quicksilver, Derick Quicksilver, Quicksy, you know he's got red hair, big glasses.

L: I know him.

M: Big lad for 12, here he is, 'Bellissima'

DJ Quicksilver on TOTP

[DJ Quicksilver- Bellissima, No words just a load of townies jumping up and down]

Lard gives a thumbs up sign

M: The only great thing about being in a double act is that you get to share the work load, right our kid?

L: (Gives Mark Thumbs Up Sign)

M: That was DJ Quicksilver.

L: (Gives Mark Thumbs Up Sign)

M: And now into the top 13 at number 12, Living Joy.

L: (Gives Mark Thumbs Up Sign)

M: (Looks at Lard) Where would I be without him?

Living Joy on TOTP

[Living Joy - Where Can I Find Love?, woman in Jamiroqui style hat who's singing is unintelligible]

Mark & Lard do mock laughter

L: Living Joy, where can I find Love?

M: I wouldn't worry about that our kid.

(Both do mock laughter)

M: Here's the Top 10. At 10 It's 'Gotta Be you', 3T featuring Herbie.

L: At 9 Encore En Fois, Sash

M: 8, Hit Em high, Be Real, Busta Rhymes

L: 7, Free me from Cast

M: At 6 a new entry for DJ Quicksilver, Bellissima

L: At 5 I Believe I Can Fly, R Kelly

M: New at number 4, North country Boy, The Charlatans

L: Stayin at 3 Don't speak, No Doubt

M: At 2 Who Do You Think You Are? down from 1 The Spice Girls.

L: Straight in at the top this week a band who struggled for years as The Chemical Toilet Brothers.

M: But they dropped the bog bit and they've nabbed the top spot with the whoppin Block Rockin Beats, The Chemical Brothers.

Mark & Lard stare at each other

[The Chemicals Brothers video is Shown]

M: The Chemical Brothers, Donald and Derick Domestos.

L: I didn't even know they were related.

M: Next week your genial host Mark Owen, to play us out, Spice girls, Who's your favourite Lard?Shell Suit Spice

L: Fit as a Butchers Dog Spice

M: I'm a Shell Suit Spice fan myself

M & L: Ta ra now.

[The Spice Girls video plays the show out]

On 24th May 1997 Mark & Lard presented their second Top Of The Pops.

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