LardPeople Mark & Lard Regularly MentionMark
Or Take The Piss Out Of

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Here are a load of people who Mark and Lard regularly take the piss out of or mention a lot.

Paul DanielsPaul Daniels

Short, Bald Magician. He brought magic into our homes through the cathode ray tube in our living room. He may be an ugly balding old lethario but he was good at magic performing some quite spectacular tricks, his only fault that he stayed on our screens for too long. Two much of a good thing is inevitably bad, he's still better than David 'Ugly Boy' Copperfield though. He married his assistant Debbie Mcgee and they are still together.


Shell Suit SpiceShell Suit spice

Mel C from the Spice Girls, she's the one who usually looks like she's just got back from the dead. She dances about in a crap shell suit which let her do those backflip things during songs. Although she is many people's least favorite Spice Girl people with brains like Mark know that she is the best one.


ThemselvesMark and Lard

Mark and Lard may be successful DJ's on the nations biggest radio station but they still are as modest as ever, they would rather make jokes at their own expense than go on about how great they are (They leave that job up to us). They know that at the end of the day they are just two Northerners sitting in a studio in Manchester playing records and talking in-between. They are of course brilliant at this but they will never admit it. As long as you can laugh at yourself there's still hope for you.

Jimmy NailJimmy Nail

Crap singer who can't act either. He got to fame through bobbins programme 'Crocodile shoes'. He wears cowboy boots, need I say more?


Savage Garden

The band name would suggest some sort of Rock band. However on listening to the records we hear that they are some sort of appalling boy band who are not worthy of being played on a show such as Mark's.

The Lighthouse Family

Paul Tucker (guitarist with hair) and Tunde Baiyewu (bald singer) head this pop group. Their music is bland and uninteresting which is why Mark and Lard fully justified in taking the piss out of them.

The Creepers

Lard's old group which he formed after leaving The Fall. They were apparently really shite but John Peel liked them. See my Marc Riley with the Creepers Page for more info.

Caravan OwnersShed On Wheels

The scourge of the nation. Mark has every right not to like people who own these monstocities. These people park their ice cream box on wheels on their front drive way for 51 weeks of the year, blocking out the sun and spoiling your view of their compost heap. For the remaining year they clip it onto the back of their car (usually a Volvo) and drive exceedingly slow down the roads never letting you past. Something must be done to combat this terror.

Jethro Tull

One of the only bands to feature a pixie singer who plays the flute. Ian Anderson is a dancing druid who sings (allegedly) and can often be found on The Edge in Alderley Edge with Ken Barlow thinking up some magical spells and smoking mind bending chemicals. The only people who went to see them live were very pissed students who actually wanted to see Led Zeppelin but in their drug induced frame of mind they wandered into the wrong venue.


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