Mark: Well we`re the happy 1FM DJ`s Lard: Well liked and well hung, M: Orh Yes, You think that we are great, L: OK not bad, M: But now that Christmas and New Year have whistled by again, We`re hacked off, L: Despondent, M: And quite Sad, Well our Christmas Presents please spot didn`t prove a great success, We anticipated bulging sacs, L: A bum, bum, bum, ho! We waited for the soaps on ropes and chocolates to roll in, M: But you miserable listeners sent f*** all, So now the festive time is gone we`ll launch the appeal again, L: Here are our sizes M: So you`ll know what fits, L: Oh yes, I`m a whale, M: Oh yes I`m a snail L: So get down those sales, M: And get your hands in your pockets you tight fisted gits. (Talking Bit) M: Guitar Solo L: Guitar solo M: Guitar Solo L: Guitar solo M: Guitar solo L: Anyway, no I mean they are, they are miserable when you think about it really, M: We`re in here dancing about like elves, Slaving away like.. elves L: Elves, Guitar solo M: Guitar solo, L: Bringing joy to everyone and what do they.. you know, M: They send us nothing, L: Bite sized bums and naughty nipples from Laura, M: Right let`s give them some suggestions, here we go, (Singing starts again) M: So send gift tokens, L: Selection Boxes, M: Underpants and socks, L: Handkerchiefs, M: Pullovers, L: Party hats, M: Ooorh yes, Aftershave, L: Copies of Knave, M: Philippino slaves, M&L: So get down the post box now you stingy twats.
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