The Xmas Present Appeal Song

Sung Over Travel Jingle Type Thing

Mark: Well we`re the happy 1FM DJ`s
Lard: Well liked and well hung,
M:    Orh Yes, You think that we are great,
L:    OK not bad,
M:    But now that Christmas and New Year have whistled by again,
      We`re hacked off,
L:    Despondent,
M:    And quite Sad,
      Well our Christmas Presents please spot didn`t prove
      a great success,
      We anticipated bulging sacs,
L:    A bum, bum, bum, ho!
      We waited for the soaps on ropes and chocolates to roll in,
M:    But you miserable listeners sent f*** all,
      So now the festive time is gone we`ll launch the appeal again,
L:    Here are our sizes 
M:    So you`ll know what fits,
L:    Oh yes, I`m a whale,
M:    Oh yes I`m a snail
L:    So get down those sales,
M:    And get your hands in your pockets you tight fisted gits.

(Talking Bit)

M:    Guitar Solo
L:    Guitar solo
M:    Guitar Solo
L:    Guitar solo
M:    Guitar solo
L:    Anyway, no I mean they are, they are miserable when you 
      think about it really,
M:    We`re in here dancing about like elves,
      Slaving away like.. elves
L:    Elves, Guitar solo
M:    Guitar solo,
L:    Bringing joy to everyone and what do they.. you know,
M:    They send us nothing,
L:    Bite sized bums and naughty nipples from Laura,
M:    Right let`s give them some suggestions, here we go,

(Singing starts again)

M:    So send gift tokens,
L:    Selection Boxes,
M:    Underpants and socks,
L:    Handkerchiefs,
M:    Pullovers,
L:    Party hats,
M:    Ooorh yes, Aftershave,
L:    Copies of Knave,
M:    Philippino slaves,
M&L:  So get down the post box now you stingy twats.

Main | Show Guide | Mark & Lard Story | Songbook
Early Afternoon Show | Breakfast Show
Graveyard Shift | | Hit The North
The Unofficial Mark Radcliffe & Lard Site
Copyright © 1997 - 2025

Hosted by IONOS