Last Week's Show Song

Sung over the Travel Jingle

Played on Hit The North - 18/8/93
Mark: Well yes dear listeners, 
      This week normal service has been resumed,
      There'll be no need for tossing in the bed,
      That nice Marc Riley tries his feeble best I suppose,
      But last weeks show was quite blatantly an utter shed, 
Lard: Oh, if I could interject at this here point Mr Radcliffe,
Mark: Of course.

Lard: I think you'll find that last week's show was very good,
Mark: Hmm,
Lard: So why don't you go forth and as they say multiply,
      Disappear up a darkened alleyway with your hood,
Mark: (gasp)
      Oh Lard, you big nosed get,
      You've got a blinkin' cheek,
Lard: Don't think so,
Mark: To cast aspersions on a big star just like me,
Lard: You say so,
      You're a twit,
Mark: And you're an it,
Lard: And you think you're 'ere,
Mark: But at least I'm not a stagnant pool of wee,
Lard: That's true.

[Spoken bit during Guitar Solo]

Mark: Guitar solo, Anyway it was a good show last week was it?
Lard: It was alright, a bit laddish, you know, had Hookey in, and you know and Andy Roar.
Mark: It's nice for me to leave it in a safe pair of hands
      I think, I'm sure you did a good job.
Lard: Well it was alright, but it wasn't as good as when you do it,
      How was your holiday anyway?
Mark: It was great, I went to my Mums in Blackpool
      Went up the tower,
Both: All that,
Mark: On the fairground
Both: All that,
Mark: Down to the Sandcastle
Both: All..
Mark: Hey last verse, last verse 

[Singing starts again]

Mark: So why don't you curl up and die you useless croc of [horn sound effect],
Lard: Well you can go [horn] yourself up your [horn],
Mark: You're a [horn]
Lard: And you're a [horn]
Mark: And you're a [long horn]
Both: But at least we're still good buddies underneath.

Lard: Oh, [horn].