SongBookThe Final Hit The North Song

Sung over the Travel Jingle

Played on the very last Hit The North

Mark: The time has come for me to say ta tar,
      Bye Bye Adieu, farewell and pot puree,
      Alviedezehn, au revoir and tarestmolata, nostra artu,
      I'm off to Cornish pastures new you see,
      Well, I've been here for three long years and this is my very last show,
      A cause for gnashing of tears all around,
Lard: Don't think so,
Mark: But at least I'm done with that great Lardy get,
      Who I can't trust to sit on the lavatory the right way round,

Lard: Oh Scrawn, Oh Scrawn, Oh Scrawn, Oh Scrawn,
      You miserable little worm,
Mark: Get stuffed big nose of low intelligence,
Lard: Oh right,
Mark: I'm off,
Lard: Er, Frank Boff, A big pan of broth,
Mark: And sad but true, that didn't make much sense

[Spoken bit during Guitar Solo]

Lard: Well I couldn't get anything to rhyme with that.
Mark: There's loads of things,
Lard: I'm off,
Mark: I'm off, yeah 
Lard: I'm off, Frank Boff
Mark: Yeah
Lard: Pan of broth
Mark: Yeah, big pan of broth, that does rhyme,
      What about David Hasselhof? 
Lard: Who's he?
Mark: Carlesberg Export-hof, good stuff gets you ratted it does.
Lard: That's all crap, you know that,
      Frank Boff was as good a retort as any,
      It was witty for me,
Mark: You just let me down, and that's why I'm off.
Lard: No, no, you sad little twerp.
Mark: You're the sad little twerp.
Lard: Nooo..
Mark: You're the sad little

[Singing starts again]

Lard: Oh no, Oh lovely, gorgeous Mr Radcliffe could you find a slot for me?
Mark: Well, what do you think you could bring to my new show?
Lard: Erm, willy jokes, willy jokes and willy jokes,
Mark: Well there may be an opening for someone who goes "Ho ho".
Lard: What? Ho Ho!
Mark: Yeah.
Lard: (louder) HO HO!
      I'll think about it, Do you wanna brew?

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