F*** My Hat

F*** My Hat I Didn`t Know that by Mark and Lard

I have included this due to popular request, well one request anyway.

Mark: F*** my hat,
Lard: I didn`t know that.
L:    F*** my hat,
M:    I didn`t know that.
M:    F*** my hat,
L:    I didn`t know that.
L:    F*** my hat,
M:    I didn`t know that.

Fish Or Fowl?

by Mark and Lard

Mark: Fowl
Lard: Fish
M:    Fish
L:    Fowl
M:    Fowl
L:    Fish
M:    Fish
L:    Fowl
M:    Fowl
L:    Fowl
M:    Is it a fish?
L:    Is it a Fowl?
M:    Is it a guppy?
L:    No it`s an owl
M:    Is it a Fowl?
L:    No it`s a fish
M:    Don`t be stupid it`s got horns.

M:    Fish
L:    Fowl
M:    Fish
L:    Fowl
M:    FISH
L:    Fowl!
M:    FISH!!
L:    Oh I couldn`t give a f*** mate.
M:    Fair enough.

Bird or Bloke?

by Mark and Lard

Mark: Bloke
Lard: Or bird
L:    Bird
M:    Or bloke
M:    Bloke
L:    Or Bird
M:    Bird
L:    Or
M:    Bloke
L:    Is it a bird?
M:    Is it a bloke?
L:    How the hell should I know?
M:    Sorry I spoke
L:    Is it a bloke?
M:    Is it a bird?
L:    Haven't a clue mate
M:    How absurd

M:    Bird
L:    Bloke
M:    Bird
L:    BLOKE
M:    BIRD
L:    BIRD
M:    BIRD
L:    BIRD
M:    Oh aye you're right.

Bard Or Blake?

by Mark and Lard

Mark: Blake
Lard: Bard
M:    Blake
L:    Bard
M:    Blake
L:    Bard
M:    Blake
      Is it a Bard?
L:    Or is it Will Blake?
M:    Havn`t a clue mate
L:    Sorry thou spake
M:    Is it a Blake
L:    No it` a Bard
M:    To be or not to be?
L:    It`s too f****** hard

End: This section is improvised, These are the lyrics to the first time that they did it.

M:   Bard
L:   Perverse
M:   Bard
L:   Les Dawson
M:   Blake
L:   What you on about?
M:   Bard!
L:   Ooorh
M:   Ooorh
L:   God help us
M:   Who gives a toss?