The
Holiday SongThe
Holiday SongMark: Well showbiz is a tiering game as me and Barrymore know,
All that entertaining and brushing your hair,
Lard: And being smarmy so the public don`t know you`re a ball of slime,
With dirty soiled baggy underwear,
M&L: Ohhhh,
M: Thank you Lard for pointing that out,
But I do deserve a holiday,
L: And while you`re gone don`t worry about the show,
Oh no, no, no,
I`ll fill you`re seat quite snugly with my ample hairy cheeks,
And Hilarious catchphrases like 'Ho Ho'.
M&L: Ho Ho!
M: Oh Lard, Oh Lard, Oh Lard, Oh Lard,
You sad deluded fool,
To think you`ve got what it takes to be a star,
L: To be a star,
M: You`re thick,
L: I`m slick,
M: You`re a f****** prick,
So that`s why I`ve left the show to Mark Lamarr,
(Speaking bit)
L: Wot!
M: Mark Lamarr, he`s doing the show for a couple of weeks,
L: You despicable little twonk,
What do you mean Mark Lamarr?
M: He`ll do a good job,
You know he`s got nice smooth hair.
L: Smooth hair, it`s only smooth because he puts chip grease
all over it. He can`t even keep his headphones on for five
minutes, they`re slipping all over the show. I`ve got a,
Look at this letter here "Lard you`re brill, Mark you`re
crap!". That`s the kind of stuff the public want and you`re
givin` it him.
M: Ooorh Lard,
(Singing starts again)
L: Oorh God, You`ve let me down,
We`re supposed to be a top double act like Little and Wize,
You`ve betrayed your mate for that sad and brillcreamed git,
M: No I've not, I`ll tell you what,
L: Wot?
M: I`ll give you a shot, on the condition that you can stop
being so s***.
L: Wot!
M: You heard
L: You cheeky, cheeky twat, you can call me a **** but you
can`t call me a **** you f*****.
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