The Cricket Song

Sung Over Travel Jingle Type Thing

Lard: Oh I am into sport now Scrawny,
      It is flipin` fab,
      It`s better than Pop music so I Say
Mark: Oh do you now?
L:    And I think cricket is the best,
      Even better than naked twister,
M:    Yes, but that`s only because they keep the bar open all day
L:    No it`s more than that,
      Though that of course is something of a plus,
M:    But crickets about a bloke who`s hit a ball,
L:    Or perhaps misses.

L:    Oh, watching grown men sticking their heels into a dirty crease,
M:    And you can watch all this whilst you`re getting pissed.
L:    Now that`s true!
M:    Oh Lard, Oh Lard, Oh Lard, Oh Lard,
      You oafish large baboon,
      I fear I know where this songs going to go.
L:    Oh do you?
M:    I do to,
L:    Oooh, Oo, Oo, Oooh,
M:    In a load of sad filth and innuendo.

(Spoken bit during guitar solo)

L:    Wot!
M:    It` just a cheap excuse to get a crappy joke in this,
L:    No it`s not, what do you mean oh ye of little faith.
M:    You know nothing about cricket,
      you`ve never been interested.
L:    That`s what I`ve been doing all this time,
      That Brian Lada fella,
      He got 5000 wickets didn`t he?
M:    Lara not Lada.
L:    Yeah, That`s the bunny.
M:    And he didn`t get 5000 wickets
      He got 501 runs, not out.
L:    Well I was close,
      Anyway what do you mean, It`s good cricket.
M:    You just know nothing about it at all.
L:    You sad man.

(singing starts again, Lard sounding angry)

L:    Oh How dare you cast aspersions on my new found sport hobby,
      Filling it with filth would be just quite silly,
M:    No it`s not,
M&L:  Dot, dot, dot, dot,
M:    Give it a shot.
L:    OK, And the bowlers holding the batsman`s willy.

M:    Brilliant Our Kid, Ha ha, Fantastic, Brilliant
L:    Jobs a Good un.

Song Fact: The "And the bowlers holding the batsman`s willy", was actually on what was said about the players in a real test match. The actual quote was, "The batsman's Holding, the bowler's Willey..." (Fact by Gary Fenn)