Cult Radio

One radio show that Mark Radcliffe and Lard did before the Graveyard Shift was 'Cult Radio', where the roles were reversed - Radcliffe was Lardy's Sidekick. This included several hilarious episodes where every week Lard and Radcliffe went out in Lard's Triumph Dolomite (complete with sound effects etc) to interview someone or other and the egg always landed on lard's face. Every week they went somewhere to do features on Cults - cult bands, cult people, films, places, anything which had a cult like quality to it.

Lard In A Triumpth Dolomite

The first Cult Radio was a 'one off', broadcast on 29/12/92, containing interviews with Billy Duffy from The Cult, TV's Bob Holness, the cult writer Terry Pratchett and Tom Verlane out of Television. The idea was to talk about what it is like being a cult whilst broadcasting some 'Creative, innovative radio'.

Lard was often very annoyed when they went on their trips out as Radcliffe would usually arrive one or two hours late leaving Lard to freeze in the Dolomite.

Other episodes that they did on Cult Radio included.

Jodrell Bank (Radio Telescope in Cheshire)

They went here to do a show about Aliens. Lard as usual had done no research on the place so Mark had to explain it to him as they were driving up to the place in Lard's Dolomite.

Mark: You've heard of a sperm bank?

Lard: Yeah.

M: Well Jodrell is the bank where they keep aliens that come in to Earth and land because they've got that big dish on a tripod stand thing. Like you put the washing on to dry. And it's really big. And that guides aliens in from distant galaxies.

L: Give over!

M: It does, it gives them something to aim at. Look there's the disk on the horizon there.

L: That disk there? That's just an early BSB job that.

M: Is it eck, if it was BSB it would be rectangular wouldn't it.

L: No don't be stupid; guiding aliens in. That's early BSB. Now they're just a lot smaller. I've got one meself. It's nothing to do with aliens.

M: So that's just the prototype, 100 foot across?

L:Yeah, they've obviously got a few quid, this lot, and they were there before everyone else. But that's the price you pay. You get the early model, you get the big job, don't you?

M: So we'll go in, you can get your money out of the bank and we can see how many aliens they've got in the store room.

L: Brilliant, [indicators are turned on] here we go, car park, no aliens.

M: Well aliens wouldn't bring cars would they?

L: That's true.

The School Visit

Lard is under the impression that the kids of today amuse themselves by juggling turnips and playing hoop & stick. Mark tells him that they are actually into WWF Wrestling, neighbours and computer games but Lard does not believe him. They went to Beaver Row School in Manchester to look into the minds of children and find out about their hobbies. Naturally Lard was made to look stupid again. Lard reveals the disturbing fact that at Easter his family celebrated by shaving each others heads and bring dead chickens into the house.

Other Shows

There is a cult radio episode on the internet that Stuart Barstow told me about. You can download it here:

  1. Cult Radio - BBC Radio 5 - Part 1
  2. Cult Radio - BBC Radio 5 - Part 2

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