Chutney Of The Week Song

This is a song from when they did 'Hit The North'. It is all about one of their quality items on that show called 'Chutney Of The Week'.
Sang Over The Travel Jingle

Mark: It's time for me to introduce Chutney Of The Week,
      The thrilling feature you all tune in to up lap,
      Lard the producer thinks it's marvellous,
      But any fool can see it's a load of crap.
      
      And yet, put your hands together for Lardy Boy,
      The great big stupid useless Lardy git.
Lard: Steady.
M:    He is the producer so I must do what he says,
      Come on you theckless lump get on with it.

M:    So is it, apple, and gooseberry?
L:    No sir!
M:    Or is it pineapple and peas?
L:    Not this week.
M:    Is it plum? Is it bum?
      Is it pickle on the natures sweet?
L:    No sir, DJ Mr Radcliffe it's..

      [Talking bit]       

L:    Well it's just pickle.
M:    It's just pickle?
L:    Pickle. Guitar solo!
M:    Uuh, never mind the guitar solo,
      Don't change the subject, what do you mean, you've forced
      me to do this crappy feature 'Chutney Of The Week' and 
      you haven't even got any chutney.
L:    I've got pickle, Branston and all that kind of gubbins,
      You know he runs that big record label, there's no problem.
M:    Oh, good joke, Pickle, eh I don't care I like pickle, I
      like pickle but it's not chutney.
L:    So what's the problem?
M:    I'm going to do the last verse now and I'm really going to
      show you up.
L:    No you're not.

      [Singing starts again]

M:    Well that was absolutely bobbins,
      And you've screwed up another show,
L:    Oh no, ohhhh oohhhh oh ohhhhh I didn't,
M:    And that stupid line that you just sang,
      Didn't even fit the music,
L:    Think you've caught me out here again don't er..

      [Talking bit]

L:    Well you know I can't find a word to rhyme with music
M:    Call yourself a producer.