Pathological News Script

by David Fleming

The Pathelogical News was one of the best quality items of the Graveyard Shift. This is an original Cyril Dorricott script written by David Fleming.

THE DORRICOT FILES 1967

Yes! It's 1967 and the swinging sixties are in full swing. Sergeant Peppers Lonely Hearts Club Band is the latest L.P. by those lovable lads from Liverpool and it's storming the charts with the support of the psychedelic Hippie generation. "It's groovy!" is the cry of the younger generation. "XXX off you long-haired free loading scum bag!" say the older generation. But there's no denying it's a major development in popular music. In years to come, people will still be thinking they're a Walrus. I know I do.
And if that were not enough! Here comes Radio One! Yes! The radio network of Britain has divided into four major stations. Radio One is the station for the youth of the nation, complete with zany lovable D.J's and wall to wall pop music. And for the older generation, on radio 2,3, and 4....there's some boring old crap.

And all this at the same time that Top Of The Pops goes to colour! Yes, it's 1967 and Britain gets colour t.v. for the first time. Those sneaky Top Of The Pops upskirt shots have never looked so good.

But what's this? Have a heart Doctor Christiaan Barnard! And he does! The good doctor is the first person to carry out the world's first human heart transplant. "I feel fine!" says the patient on recovering from the anaesthetic. But eighteen days later he says, "Uph!". You win some, you lose some.

On the scientific front, Britain decides to join forces with our old pals and good buddies the French to build a new supersonic plane called Concorde. It'll never fly, but that's the French for you.

Down on Clydebank, Queen Elizabeth the second, launches the Queen Elizabeth the second. She's a solidly made lady, built for a pleasant ride with plenty of cushioning and a big bottom. But that's what you get when you have kids.

And in this age of enlightenment, sweeping new laws shock the older generation! Homosexual acts between consenting adults is no longer illegal.
Fine by me.
That's all!

Thanks to David Fleming for sending this script in.

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